Motherhood and identity doesn’t simply add a new role to a woman’s life. According to Brianna of Rooted Healing Therapy, it reorganizes identity from the ground up, emotionally, physically, and neurologically. In a recent episode of The Work We Keep, we sat down to talk honestly about the postpartum identity shift of motherhood, the grief that can coexist with deep love, and why so many moms feel lost in the transition.
Table of Contents
The Identity Shift No One Prepares You For
The concept of Motherhood and Identity is crucial to understanding the profound changes that occur.
Understanding Postpartum Identity
When a woman becomes a mother, everything changes at once. Hormones shift, sleep disappears, routines dissolve, and a new level of responsibility sets in immediately. Brianna explains that motherhood isn’t just about learning how to care for a baby—it’s about navigating a complete internal overhaul while often being expected to “bounce back” and function as before. The journey of Motherhood and Identity encompasses all these aspects.
This sudden shift can feel destabilizing, especially when expectations—whether planned or unspoken—don’t match reality. Even moms who enter motherhood with few expectations can feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty and lack of control that follows birth.
Loving Your Baby While Grieving Who You Were
One of the most important truths Brianna shared is that more than one thing can be true at the same time. A mother can deeply love her child and still grieve the person she was before motherhood. These emotions don’t cancel each other out—and feeling grief does not mean something is wrong. Rooted Healing
Bonding, too, isn’t always instant. Some mothers feel immense pressure to feel overwhelming love immediately, and when that doesn’t happen, shame creeps in. Brianna reminds us that attachment can take time, and love doesn’t disappear just because it doesn’t arrive all at once.
Why Moms Feel Like They’re “Not Doing Enough”
Culturally, motherhood is often equated with self-sacrifice. Needs are labeled selfish instead of necessary. Brianna explains that this belief fuels mom guilt and keeps women stuck in cycles of exhaustion and self-judgment. Rooted Healing
One of the most powerful reframes she offers is this: taking care of yourself isn’t taking away from your family—it’s giving back to them. Even five minutes of rest, quiet, or nourishment can restore emotional bandwidth and allow moms to show up with more patience and presence.
Micro-Moments Matter
In seasons where time feels impossible to find, Brianna encourages mothers to look for micro-moments of autonomy—small pockets of care that add up over time. These might include:
- A five-minute shower alone
- Stepping outside for fresh air
- Drinking water instead of another coffee
- Wearing something that feels comfortable and good
These moments are not insignificant. They are foundational. Rooted Healing
Therapy as a Support, Not a Failure
Therapy, Brianna explains, offers a soft landing place—especially during postpartum and early motherhood. It creates space to process identity shifts, past experiences that resurface, and the pressure to “do it all.” Therapy isn’t about fixing something broken; it’s about supporting something tender. Rooted Healing
She emphasizes that suffering is not required to be a good mother, and support is not a sign of weakness. When a mom feels regulated and supported, that care ripples outward into her family and home.
Identity Is Under Construction
Perhaps one of the most hopeful ideas from the conversation is this: identity in motherhood is not lost. It’s just under construction. Pieces of who you were remain, even if they feel quiet for now. With time, compassion, and support, mothers don’t return to who they were. They become someone new.
For the New Moms (and Moms-to-Be) Reading This
If you’re reading this in the middle of your own identity shift, whether you’re newly postpartum or expecting a new little one, please know you’re not alone.
And if you’re welcoming a new addition to your family in 2026, I would be truly honored to photograph this season for you with the tenderness and care it deserves, your newborn, your motherhood journey, your family, and all the in-between moments that tell the story of who you’re becoming.
NEWBORN SESSIONS MATERNITY SESSIONS
Kayla Victor is the photographer behind Kayla Mari Photography, specializing in family, maternity, and newborn photography in Dallas and the surrounding DFW area. She’s passionate about capturing timeless, heartfelt moments and building community within the photography industry as an editor of The Kindred Path Magazine. Here on the blog, she shares recent sessions and helpful tips for families in the DFW area.
